The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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