just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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