highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
please come you make the beer taste better
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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