It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
