We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
