guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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