I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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