I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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