she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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