I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
