Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
