The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize