Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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