He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
