its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
