girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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