he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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