Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
