I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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