Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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