The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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