then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
