Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
