think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
