I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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