those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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