You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
