i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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