have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
