I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
