the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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