How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize