that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
