I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it glows. i had to have it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
