I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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