Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
