no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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