the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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