no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
