Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize