FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just invented taco cereal.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
