hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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