I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
