Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
