I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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