so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
