The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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