Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
