Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize