We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
