I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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