Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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