he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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