he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
dude. I can hear the air.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
