If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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