ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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