I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
