So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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