Don't make out with my wife yet
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
that's an acceptable place to lick
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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