The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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