What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
