Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
