who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
