Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
