I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
one two three fourrrrnication!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
