Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
